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Washington Post - Hate is Good (Brian Tarcy)I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers. Every Christmas Eve in recent years when the Steelers beat my favorite team, the Cleveland Browns, by an average score of 1 million to nothing, I hate them more.... Posted: 11/13/2009 12:41:17 PM What's Gonna Happen - Unemployed Week 10 NFL PicksThese week 10 NFL predictions lost their job. Their greedy CEO cut their salary so he could spend it on Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. These predictions never get a Blue Ribbon, proving that capitalism is unfair and extravagant. These week 10 NFL predictions hate The Man.... Posted: 11/12/2009 3:56:26 PM What's Gonna Happen - Hamid Karzai's Week 9 NFL PicksHamid Karzai here with my week 9 NFL picks. For a variety of reasons, I’d also like to talk about a quagmire.... Posted: 11/5/2009 4:20:50 PM Trick or Treat 2009 Week 8 NFL Picks | What's Gonna HappenIf you throw that egg, I won’t give you my week 8 NFL predictions. I am here at home dressed as an NFL prognosticator while I try to decipher, from the look on your face, why you are carrying toilet paper.... Posted: 10/31/2009 9:59:55 AM What's Gonna Happen: Balloon Boy’s Pretend Week 7 NFL PicksHelp me! I just launched a balloon and my Week 7 NFL predictions are in it! What do you mean you don’t believe me?... Posted: 10/24/2009 10:53:22 PM What's Gonna Happen: Limbaugh's Rams Week 6 NFL PicksIn fact, I think more teams in the NFL should be owned by celebrities – okay, all NFL teams should be owned by celebrities. If Jerry Jones has one more plastic surgery, we’ll call him Joan Rivers and let him stay.... Posted: 10/16/2009 2:02:22 PM What's Gonna Happen: The Nobel Prize For Week 5 NFL PredictionsI humbly accept the Nobel Prize for Week 5 NFL Predictions. I deserve this. The committee, in its wisdom, recognized my tremendous accomplishment of predicting Cleveland Browns victories. I expect a Grammy and Oscar as well, and I have plans to win the next hot-dog eating contest.... Posted: 10/9/2009 11:49:27 PM What's Gonna Happen - Week Four Picks from IranMAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD: I predict week 4 in the NFL will be wiped off the map by one name – Brett Favre. I’m the one who sent him back. First I made him retire. Then I talked him into waffling because I hate middle America.... Posted: 10/2/2009 3:21:25 PM Washington Post - The League PanelistsDenial, as you know, is not just a river in Egypt. It's also the name of the orange and brown artery running from my heart to my brain.... Posted: 9/28/2009 2:52:40 PM What's Gonna Happen: Obama, Abbas & Netanyahu's NFL PicksBarack Obama: I’m worried fellas. In week 3 of the NFL, the New Orleans Saints are likely to use the bomb again.... Posted: 9/22/2009 8:49:08 PM Washington Post - Which Teams Should be PanickingI get it. You asked a Cleveland Browns fan because torture is funny in Washington D.C. Well, considering that I expected the Browns to stink, they're worse than that. But let me ask you, haven't I suffered enough?... Posted: 9/21/2009 2:54:27 PM Whatz Gonna Happen - HOME OF A TOWN HALL ANGRY GUY’S 2009 NFL PICKSThese 2009 NFL predictions are my ANGRY GUY call to stop Obama’s evil plot to ruin America. I won’t let Obama ruin America this NFL season like he did last year when he let the Pittsburgh Steelers become champions.... Posted: 8/14/2009 12:35:54 PM What's Gonna Happen: Home of 2009 NFL Season Predictions by DonutsIn 1965, I was 6 years old and just getting interested in sports. I remember the adults around me saying, “You are lucky to root for the Cleveland Browns because they are the best team in football. They have Jim Brown and they just won the NFL championship. They should win the championship for a bunch of years.”... Posted: 6/2/2009 9:07:52 AM Free Cheezeburgerz Mock DraftI mock you. Your mother was so fat, she had 12 rounds, and her mother was so fat that she had 20 rounds.... Posted: 4/19/2009 9:33:53 PM What's Gonna HappenHome of A New Deal/New Age Super Bowl XLIII Prediction... Posted: 1/27/2009 3:11:31 PM Whatz Gonna HappenHome of George W. Bush’s Final Conference Championship NFL Picks... Posted: 1/13/2009 1:53:39 PM What’s Gonna HappenHome of Senator Wannabe Divisional Playoff NFL Picks... Posted: 1/7/2009 11:56:45 PM What’s Gonna Happen - Home of Resolutionary Wildcard Weekend NFL PicksI resolve to give you the best NFL predictions in America. This resolution thing is easy. Last year, I resolved to eat more donuts and you know what? I did! I did eat more donuts.... Posted: 1/2/2009 3:40:45 PM WhatZgonnahappen - Home of Clarence The Angel...After Clarence the Angel saw me wearing a Cleveland Browns hat, he brought me rope and then he was gone and I heard a bell ring. There was a note: “Hurry, the Browns play the Steelers this week.”... Posted: 12/24/2008 11:34:22 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com (Home of Delicious 2007 NFL Predictions)To predict the 2007 NFL season, I bought one of those psychic fish that they advertise on the Psychic Fish Network (I've got satellite). Then, because the fish dared me, I purchased a frying pan.... Posted: 12/16/2008 9:25:50 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 15Governor Rod Blagojevich: Hey Fan Number 5, do you have a favorite NFL team? Want me to pick them to win?... Posted: 12/11/2008 3:37:10 PM WhatZgonnahappen: Week 14I was showing Plaxico Burress a new acupuncture technique for his hamstring injury when President-Elect Barack Obama called to ask me to be America's very first Secretary Of Knuckleheads.... Posted: 12/5/2008 10:02:33 AM WhatZgonnahappen.comI was on death row when I started predicting NFL games as a way to pass the time and somehow my predictions came to the attention of George W. Bush, a big sports fan. Yes, I am a turkey, and I am guilty.... Posted: 11/26/2008 11:06:54 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 2My Chevy's parents, Detroit Lions fans, are old fat people who drink a lot. So my Chevy can't decide whether to put its parents into a government subsidized nursing home or just euthanize them. "They lie around chugging gasoline and begging for a handout," said my Chevy. "It's embarrassing."... Posted: 11/20/2008 3:17:41 PM Bang Cartoons - If, Ands, and ButtsCompletely tasteless cartoon about pants-dropping by head coaches. Hilarious, of course. And tasteless.... Posted: 11/17/2008 1:20:32 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 11The economy tanked at the exact same moment that Tom Brady was injured. A coincidence?... Posted: 11/12/2008 5:16:42 PM WhatZgonnahappen.comIt is morning in America. Our long national nightmare is over. Brady Quinn is the new starting quarterback of the Cleveland Browns.... Posted: 11/6/2008 2:52:51 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 9Four scores and seven beers ago, I won some Ben Franklins from George Washington on the Saints game.... Posted: 10/28/2008 2:49:08 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 8My name is Staph The Infection. I want to apply for a loan. I am an undecided voter in Ohio. That's important. I don't know Joe The Plumber but since Kellen Winslow II is bragging about our friendship, I can confirm that we've met. Yes, I have friends like these.... Posted: 10/24/2008 10:31:13 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 7Actually, Ohio is now owned by China after my wager last week on the Raiders. I am sorry, Ohio... I guess I should call you by your legal name, New Mongolia.... Posted: 10/18/2008 1:44:29 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 5SARAH PALIN: Do the Rams stink? In what respect, Charlie?... Posted: 10/3/2008 2:52:08 PM What's Gonna Happen: Week 4GEORGE BUSH: My fellow Americans, our entire economy is in danger but if you give me $700 billion to bet, I have a hunch the Cleveland Browns are going to win this week.... Posted: 9/26/2008 5:26:51 PM WhatZgonnahappen: Week 3Where Vision Gets Built... Posted: 9/17/2008 1:15:27 PM WhatZgonnahappen: Week 2 Picks... Posted: 9/10/2008 2:00:28 PM NASCAR to borrow rivalries from NFLWhen the Republican Party changed its official motto to "We Love Teen Pregnancy," organizations across the great land of Freecheezeburgerz began looking for similarly audacious ways to capitalize on difficult news.... Posted: 9/3/2008 4:13:39 PM WhatZgonnahappen.comI believe in these colors just as much as John McCain does, even though he claims his years imprisoned as a Cardinals fan give him more credibility.... Posted: 8/29/2008 9:12:09 PM WhatZgonnahappen - 2008 NFL SEASON PICKS: EARLY SUMMER EDITIONMy golf pro, one of thousands of American golf pros with secret NFL videotapes, made me quit golf and apologize to the duck. That’s why these are the best 2008 NFL predictions on the Internet.... Posted: 6/1/2008 11:40:32 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Super Bowl EditionMy fellow Americans, I am withdrawing from my campaign to be the next Prognosticator of the United States of America. That’s right, I quit. Change? Change this!... Posted: 1/31/2008 9:04:10 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Super Hype EditionAs the economy goes into the tank, savvy investors have discovered Whatzgonnahappen. That’s right, while your broker was helping you to decide whether to invest in arsenic or rope, my loyal readers saw the trained mice that type my column actually wrote... Posted: 1/23/2008 5:09:50 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Conference ChampionshipsAnd the Patriots, who once wore red and lost a lot, now wear blue and never lose. So, there you have it, a lot of blue remains in this year’s playoffs. No teal anywhere. Of cour$e, if you think about it, the Packers do it ju$t right for our modern $port... Posted: 1/17/2008 9:36:26 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Playoffs EditionSure, the Jaguars will run the ball on the Patriots. So? The Greatest Team in the History of Football is about to turn to the “ON” switch. That’s right, they’ve been on cruise control for weeks.... Posted: 1/10/2008 4:49:24 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Wildcard WeekendIOWA MUSIC REVIEW – I have seen the future of rock-n’-holy-roller NFL prognostication, and it is Mike Huckabee.... Posted: 1/6/2008 12:42:09 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 17TITANS AT COLTS – Cardiologists in Cleveland are standing by. But there is nothing to worry about. Jim Sorgi has a career day. Colts 30, Titans 10... Posted: 12/28/2007 10:57:51 AM WhatZgonnahappen: Week 16I know Santa Claus, or at least a guy that looks like him. And “Santa” promised me that the Cleveland Browns are going to beat the New England Patriots in the playoffs. It’s the only thing I asked for.... Posted: 12/20/2007 7:51:58 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 15Senator George Mitchell: After 20 months of study and deliberations, I conclude that baseball has been very, very good to some players. You should see some of these guys. They are, like, big and strong.... Posted: 12/13/2007 10:39:06 PM WhatZgonnahappen: NFL Week 14 PicksHome of a Sudanese Teddy Bear’s Week 14 NFL Picks... Posted: 12/6/2007 1:41:35 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 13Let's get ready to fumble! It's time for the Pay-Per-View Main Event - Cowboys Versus Packers! Hurry! If you order now, we'll throw in steak knives at some extra cost!... Posted: 11/27/2007 11:28:03 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 12This morning while hunting turkey from my leather chair I ate three lamb chops and watched some pigskin previews when my phone, hanging off deer antlers, rang. I walked across my bearskin rug to answer it. It was one of those PETA fundraisers so I promise... Posted: 11/22/2007 9:32:39 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 11 PicksAlthough you are here for NFL picks from a chromosome-shortchanged prognosticator (that's me!), first allow me, as a representative of the largest ethnic group in the country, to share my struggles to endorse a presidential candidate.... Posted: 11/14/2007 3:44:04 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 10Coach Musharraf is angry. That's what he has asked us to call him now. It softens the whole military political thing he has going. The crackdown? Ah, he's just being our country's Vince Lombardi. You know, he treats us all the same, like dogs.... Posted: 11/9/2007 11:02:57 AM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 9 PicksArrived on Earth yesterday. Greeted by an elderly elfish man with an unusually hot young wife. He was waving an outdated document called the United States Constitution. He had no tickets to the big Colts/Patriots game but he did have many complaints. Afte... Posted: 10/31/2007 8:44:34 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 8Dearly beloved shareholders, The National Football League this week is playing a regular season game in London begging the question; in which nation is it a national football league? Let's ask Beckham!... Posted: 10/25/2007 12:12:16 PM WhatZgonnahappen.comLast Sunday, President Bush and I watched the Cowboys/Patriots game together. I was cheering for the Patriots and he was cheering for the Cowboys so when Tom Brady threw another touchdown pass, I said, "Ha!" and he asked me if I was interested in avoiding... Posted: 10/18/2007 4:04:33 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 6Romney: I will back the Cowboys and Indians if it's effective and they are victorious. To the victors go the spoils. It's good to be spoiled, but I digress. I am saying that predicting requires competence and shaping your message competently. That's why I... Posted: 10/10/2007 8:19:26 PM WhatZgonnahappen.com: Week 5 PicksBROWNS AT PATRIOTS - Romeo Crennel and Willie McGinest pilfered the Patriots offensive signals. Derek Anderson stole Tom Brady's karma. Braylon Edwards stole Randy Moss' flash. The Browns steal a win. Browns 39, Patriots 38... Posted: 10/2/2007 8:13:31 PM WhatZgonnahappen: Week 4 PredictionsWelcome to the Mike Gundy School of Journalism, approved by Bill Belichick, Bobby Knight, the Bush Administration, the Hillary Clinton campaign, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, - and me, Mike Gundy, the only person qualified to judge journalism.... Posted: 9/28/2007 3:26:53 PM Brian Tarcy's Predictions: Week 3Mother****er! You think you can steal my predictions and just read them? Nobody leaves this website until I get my picks back! You! I'm talking to you! Quit reading and put your eyes up against the mother****ing wall!... Posted: 9/19/2007 11:21:40 AM 2007 NFL PICKS: WEEK 2Citing Richard Nixon's plan for "peace with honor" in a previous conflict, President George W. Bush yesterday appointed Bill Belichick interim Secretary of Defense.... Posted: 9/14/2007 12:54:37 PM 2007 NFL PICKS: WEEK 1Competition is competition. I am the best NFL political prognosticator in the world. Mine is a niche. It belongs to Rush Limbaugh and I and coincidentally, we both like to party. This always begs the same question - if you bet the farm on my predictions,... Posted: 9/5/2007 7:05:05 PM WhatZgonnahappen.comThis 2007 NFL predictions report, my final act as your top advisor, may contain lead paint, tiny magnets, and rat poison along with the usual heaping portions of bull product.... Posted: 8/23/2007 9:10:11 AM
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